Saturday, June 29, 2013

Magic the Gathering: Duels of the Planeswalkers 2014 (XBLA)

Wizards of the Coast, and the game development studio known as Stainless Games return with a fiery vengeance. In this iteration of the classic card game experience turned digital we find that the main protagonist is none other than the Planeswalker, Chandra Nalaar. In past versions of the arcade game Chandra's background was only hinted at, but the developer decided to go all out this time around, and present her in a wholly complete way. Not only will you gain an understanding of Chandra's current predicament, but you'll also be able to hear her voice (via voice acting), and see her come to life before your eyes in full motion 3D cutscenes. Everything about MTG 2014 is fleshed out in a way that brings the characters to life more than they ever have been in the world of MTG. There's definitely tons of new features to enjoy, and explore as you navigate the expansive new menu system that is made available to buyers of the full version of the game.


This morning I started up my PS3 in hopes of partaking of the Double XP offerings in Black Ops 2. Little did I know that I'd receive a message, and a gift from the developers of "Spartacus Legends". The message basically told me that the game had been fixed, and in order to gain access to this newly patched version I'd have to delete my old download, and download the game again. Also attached to the message was a single use code for 50 free gold coins for use in the game! At this point I was thinking to myself "Why not?". I decided to take them on their word, do as they said, and enjoy my $4.99 worth of gold coins. The download took long as it usually does. You can't expect less of a wait from a game with a 2,000+ MB file size, unfortunately. Upon downloading, and installing it I got into the game hoping to the Greek Gods that the developer had actually fixed the issues I found wrong with the game. To my utter dismay I once again found myself cussing out the game in rage though.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Spartacus Legends (PSN): "WTF!? THIS IS NOT SPAAARTA-CUSS!!!"

You guys are going to have to pardon me for the verbal reaming I'm about to give this game. This morning after finding nothing else to review I decided to make good on my word, and play "Spartacus Legends", so that I could deliver my final verdict. I know I previously said that I was "On the fence" about the game, but I ended up falling head first onto the side of the fenced in area where gaming shitdom lies. Spartacus Legends is basically a steaming digital pile of festering dog shit. The combat is tremendously flawed in both offline, and online modes, and the fact that you get penalized for someone hacking a match to the point that you lose connection (the game freezes) is total, and inexcusable bullshit!. Yes, you did hear me correctly. The fucktards of online gaming have found a way to hack the game already, and even lagswitch it to the furthest depths of hades.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Spartacus Legends (PSN): "First Impressions"

When it comes to Roman mythology, and history I'm a diehard fan. I have spent hours upon hours of my life at the schools' libraries as well as local libraries reading up on Spartan conquests, gladiators, and all the gory details associated with both. It seems to me though that as interesting as these subjects are, and have been in the past to people that the hype about them did not increase until films such as "300", and television series like "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" came into being. Speaking of which, I can't help but think of the phrase that Gerard Butler so brilliantly quoted in the film "300" ("THIS IS SPAAARTA!!!" xD) every time I hear something with the word "Sparta" in it. In fact this morning I came up with my own parody version of the quote, and it goes something like this, "THIS IS SPAAARTA-CUS!!!". As cheesy as that likely sounds I can't help, but quote it every time I get into a "Spartacus Legends" match. For those of you who are unaware of it, Spartacus Legends (a Free-to-Play) game was released today on the PSN store. This means PS3 owners get first dibs at sampling the new fighting experience. Xbox 360 owners will get their chance tomorrow.

Monday, June 24, 2013

One Finger Death Punch (XBLIG)

For several months I've been patiently awaiting the release of Silver Dollar Games' latest XBLIG masterpiece, One Finger Death Punch. I've followed the development of the game from it's simple beginnings, to it's more recent moments of grandeur. It's probably obvious to anyone who has read my blog reviews in the past that I'm a diehard fan of Jon Flook's & David Flook's unique indie creations. I've often times tweeted video links to the brother's indies, and have even tried my hardest to get gamers to give them a chance, sometimes with no success. As such my hyped anticipation should not come as a surprise to those who follow me on the various social media outlets of the internet.

For those of you like me who have followed the progress of "One Finger Death Punch" you'll know that it started off as a humble idea from a pair of developers who were intensely passionate about the Kung Fu theme that they were using as the basis for their game. Through dedication, and many gradual transformations Jon Flook, and David Flook of Silver Dollar Games have managed to create a simple yet perfect tribute to the classic Kung Fu films of old. Whether your your a modern day action film enthusiast who enjoys the masterful works of martial artists like Jet-Li, or a more traditional Kung Fu film fanatic who loves the classic martial arts masters of old there is something here for all fans of kick assery. The long unrealized, and child-like dreams of becoming an all encompassing bojo badass are now a thing of the past as the developers at Silver Dollar Games have made fantasy a reality for all gamers who wish to take on the challenge, and master the techniques offered in the digital dojo of "One Finger Death Punch"!!!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Aqua Kitty: Milk Miner Defender (XBLIG)

Aqua Kitty is an indie game that takes the general offerings of the shmup (shoot 'em up) genre, and amps it up to create an intensely enjoyable experience. Combined with a retro soundtrack that is filled with noteworthy retro tunes this survival based shmup will no doubt test your skills as a shmup enthusiast. At the heart of the game you'll find a plot about a race of felines who have found themselves in the midst of a dilemma. Their source of milk has ran dry, and they must seek out other sources if they are to maintain their healthy lifestyle. Luckily through some seafaring exploration these curious cats have happened upon what seems to be an unending supply of full fat milk. The problem is that their new found source lies within the murky, and treacherous depths of the ocean. There's definitely plenty of threats swimming between them, and their hope for the future. As a feline ship pilot it is your duty to keep the milk miners safe as they mine the depths of the ocean floor though. You will no doubt find adversity in the form of deadly deep sea denizens, but with your rocket powered sub nothing can stand between you, and the sustenance your species so desperately seeks.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Make it Rain (XBLIG)

There are a handful of things I look for in a video game. Originality is likely the most important to me, but subject matter also plays a huge role in the games I'm seeking out. During one of my daily XBL marketplace browsings I happened upon a an XBLIG title that caught my undivided attention. It featured an original subject matter (pole dancing), and seemed to be interesting enough to inquire about. This indie which is appropriately titled, "Make it Rain" had some sexy elements to it that obviously would appeal to an adult film journalist as myself. I sought out the developer (24kt Studios) via the world wide web, and humbly asked for a review code. They replied shortly afterwards giving me two codes for review. I quickly downloaded the game, grateful for the opportunity to once again supply my readers with something new to read about. In the end I played the game only for a short while realizing that the review would not be as lengthy as the ones I usually provide. Even so I bring you this review on a positive note, thankful to the developer for the chance to get back in the game (so to speak).

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A Note to Developers

I wanted to take the time to set the record straight about my dealings with certain game developers/PRs. My reputation has obviously been sabotaged, and I feel that the developers/PRs I've worked with in the past think less of me now because of certain comments I've made on Twitter. Recently I did get into a heated conversation with a friend, and a developer over a set of requests that I had made. The fact is that @IndiePub, the developers/PRs behind the recently released "Storm", and "FireBurst" XBLA games had totally ignored my requests prior to the games' release as well as the day of the release. After dealing with similar PR reactions in the past I became a little upset about the matter, and voiced my thoughts on the situation through twitter. As expected @IndiePub finally replied via email on the day of the release (after my tweets) letting me know why they had not contacted me. They claimed to have been out of codes, and that I was, in essence an "unprofessional critic".

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Tekken Revolution (PS3): "Follow-Up Review"

As promised I spent some quality time getting familiar with Tekken Revolution, it's unique offerings, and it's unusual departure from the core mechanics of previous Tekken games. The fact remains that the game still plays heavily on the punishing mechanics that most of you touch base with in any Tekken match, and in doing so feels nothing like the traditional Tekken fighters of old. The "Free-to-Play" aspect is another matter all in itself, one which I'm not entirely sure about just yet. Unfortunately for that topic I will not be able to give you a definitive opinion until Namco has finished with the trial phases of the game. I can, and will however explain the game in better detail for those looking to join the others who are interested in this particular Tekken spin-off.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Tekken Revolution (PS3): "First Impressions"

When I first watched the trailer of this latest installment of the Tekken series I was truly mesmerized. The game looked gorgeous, and the fact that it was going to be a Free-to-Play exclusive for the PS3 made it seem even more special. The fact of the matter is that not everything we see in the world of gaming is as it seems though, and Tekken Revoulution unfortunately serves as a reminder of this. When you hear the term Free-to-Play in association with a game release it usually means that there are strings attached. Just how many strings, and the extent of those strings all depend on the developer releasing the game to the public. Some Free-to-Play games can be quite enjoyable, offering enough to the gamer to be fine without any additional DLC purchases. In the case of Tekken Revolution however this is not the situation.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Xbox One: "Where I Stand"

Okay. Many of you will likely think after reading my latest Xbox One email breakdown that I'm sold on the offerings of the console, that I'm a "fanboy" of it. This couldn't be more wrong. In fact my opinions about the Xbox One are completely the opposite, and "Hell No!" I'm not just saying this to jump in with the bandwagon of haters out there. The fact is that my last Xbox One article was meant to spark an open-ended discussion about the offerings of the console, nothing more and nothing less. I DO NOT for one second think that "Always Online", or any of the game practices implemented by Microsoft for this Next-Gen console are good. One thing people forgot to mention is WTF happens if your power goes out, and you cannot access your internet!? Power outages are a commonplace occurrence here in the United States. The fact that Microsoft added such a feature is BULLSHIT! Why the fuck can't a gamer go back, and download an update, and be done with it!? It's an easy solution, that could easily be applied to the console. This along with the "Always On" Kinect is what makes me believe all the Microsoft spying comments floating around the interweb.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

"Xbox One: How it Games"

I was doing my  routine email check this evening, and happened upon an interesting email titled "Xbox One: How it Games". Naturally this peaked my curiosity, and I had to click on it to see if Microsoft had finally let any significant details out of the bag. It turns out that the email, as brief as it was did bring to attention some details about the Xbox One that I did not know. Things concerning achievements, graphics, and matchmaking were explained in vague details. I'm going to use this article to discuss my thought on each of the topics explained in the email. You, of course can chime in, and comment on what I've said if you wish to do so. It will be an open discussion as long as there are no trolls that add there two cents worth in.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

GRID 2 (PS3): "Offline Follow-up & Online Impressions"

Okay. Before I get started with my online first impressions I'd like to take back some of the things I said concerning GRID 2's visuals. Sure there are some imperfections, and certain things like random tools in the garage and the people in the crowd seem to be of poor quality, but the fact is the game doesn't look all that bad. You can actually get past the crowd of people looking like PS2 characters simply, because you hardly ever see them close-up. I must also take back my comment about the graphics in the garage. Upon closer observation I found it to be mostly current-gen quality. My apologies guys for the misinterpretation, and poor observations. Like I said in my last article what I said was merely "First Impressions" though.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

GRID 2 (PS3): "First Impressions"

I'm desperate folks. I'm desperate to find a worthwhile game that has both a solid offline, and online experience. In fact I was so desperate today that I ventured out to the local Gamestop just to pick up the newly released "GRID 2" for the PS3. It has been years since I last played any racing games, and I figured that GRID 2 might just be the answer to my gaming prayers. I forked over the $60+ dollars to the Gamestop employee, and headed back home to try out my newly found hope. Upon inspecting the contents of the game case, and the game case itself I found that Codemasters (The devs behind GRID 2) had jumped on the the old single use VIP PASS bandwagon. I thought for sure since EA was abandoning that practice that no other game developer would be foolish enough to do the same thing. I guess I was mistaken.