What Truly Matters . . .

In life our pursuits as individuals and collectives vary. Some want fame and fortune. Others want happiness and worthwhile relationships. There are also those of us that want to find meaning and purpose in our existence. We all chase, sometimes blindly, after that which we desire. For me this life's journey, four decades in the making, has been somewhat of an eye opener in this regard. I began very immature, and oblivious to the goings on of the world around me. Conditioned to accept passed down teachings as the Gospel truth, down to the expected cycle of life. I lived selfishly, and hid myself from society. Only getting out into the world when it best suited my interests. Never seeking a marriage partner, or a life fit for those who have bought into the perpetual debt slavery system.

Shortly after a failed suicide attempt in 1998 I started seeing the world in a different light. Having been given a second chance life was now more precious to me than it ever was. I matured so quickly after that attempt, that I became a sort of elder among people my age. Wise beyond my years, and capable of seeing the world and it's people for what they were. I began surfing the internet in it's fledgling state and beyond, doing research outside of the scope of high school curriculum. I sought after truths, and in that search for the truth found that some things weren't as they seemed. What I'd been taught growing up began to feel more like a means to keep me from knowing what lay behind the veil. It was like what I was truly meant to be was being suppressed by taught and learned societal standards.

Realizing that there was so much more to life than buying into what was being sold via education I found myself questioning a lot of things. I questioned the historical past, the present as well as various aspects of life dealing in personal ideals and beliefs. Later on I'd even come to question a religion I'd grown up being a dedicated part of. To a point that the underlying motives behind all that I learned became more and more unraveled. Reality as it seemed was not so real after all. 

Fast forward to the here and now, and people are so confused about reality that our very foundations are being rocked to the core. We are finding out now how evil and corrupt our teachers in life were, and how blindly led by knowledge passed down we are. I've had to re-evaluate a lot of my understandings, and do away with a lot of what I thought I knew. It seems that evil has layered the world we live in with such lies and deceptions that finding the truth is a task few will ever come to realize. Even I know I may never fully know the extent at which truth was hidden, and how deep the lies go. Still I go forward with precaution trying to make sense of the madness and chaos around me. I know that somewhere in the midst of it all there is an absolute truth to be found. Finding it may very well be the point of our existence, the reason which we live.

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