Skullgirls (XBLA): "The Rant"

After thinking long, and hard on how I was going to approach my review of 'Skullgirls' I decided on dividing it into two separate posts. The first post, which is the one you are about to, is appropriately titled "The Rant". This post will be where I lay down my opinions on the game. The second post will be titled "The Review", and will come later giving you all the details of the game without my opinions cluttering up the post. I feel this separation of review, and rant is necessary. It allows me to give my opinion in it's purest form while not having to give the details of the game. This is opposite to the "The Review" which will give you details about the game without you having to hear me complain about the issues that plague it. Without further adieu I think it's time to get the show on the road!

There is no doubt that 'Skullgirls' is one of the best animated fighting games to date. It features a cast of gorgeous, gruesome, and wacky female characters that will likely appeal to all fighting game fans out there. If you're looking for a big breasted babe then 'Valentine' will definitely fit that bill. She's a sexy nurse with a bouncy rack that would make Mai Shiranui envious. If for some reason you like your fighting game gals on the more morbid side then 'Double', 'Ms.Fortune', and 'Painwheel' will suit those desires the best. Each of them have some sort of gore details involved in their design making them more reminiscent of one of Tim Burton's nightmarish creations. Finally for those of you who miss the cartoons of old there's 'Peacock' who has a rude disposition, and can pack a wallop on the fighting field.

When it comes to fighting games visuals are always a plus, but visuals aren't what really makes a fighting game worthy of praise. It is the gameplay that makes or breaks a game, and that is exactly what this rant is all about. While I do find the visuals in 'Skullgirls' to be awe-inspiring, the gameplay is extremely lacking in quality. Both the offline, and online modes are plagued by issues that keep the game from being as brilliant as it possibly could be. To begin with I'd like to address the CPU, or AI opponents. The CPU/AI opponents within a game aren't supposed to be as difficult to beat as a friggin' boss. You'll find that every time you play against 'Peacock' in 'Skullgirls' she spams like a SOB. Not only is this an issue but 'Peacock' is constantly trying to distance herself from you as she spams. Unless by some miracle you can get close to her, and stay close you are likely to lose. Peacock might as well have been the final f****** boss.

This brings me to my second complaint. No matter what difficulty setting you choose in 'Skullgirls', whether it is 'Sleepwalker (The easiest)', or the hardest (???) your CPU/AI opponents will hammer the hell out of you like friggin' Daigo Umehara! I kid you not! The game might as well have no difficulty settings as far as I'm concerned. I played all of the difficulties, and found little to no difference in them at all. I'm not sure who the programmer for the game was, but they did a piss poor job with the CPU/AI, and the difficulty settings.

Another complaint I have concerns probably the biggest issue with the game. As I began playing the online versus I realized that there were no Gamertags displayed whatsoever! I'm thinking to myself as I play, "How the hell am I supposed to know who I'm playing against!?". I might as well be playing locally if I don't have a damn clue who my online opponent is. What really gripes me about this is I can't report someone if they are cheating, or give them bad feedback if they deserve it. I don't want to be be spammed to death by some sorry a** Peacock player, and not be able to dish out justice. It's bull****!!! This needs to absolutely be fixed with a patch. I don't know what the hell was going through Autumn Games/Reverge Labs' minds when they deemed it necessary to not include friggin' Gamertags!!!

My final complaint is with the final boss in 'Skullgrils'. I believe a fighting game boss should be challenging, but not insanely difficult to beat. For some reason unknown to me, the developer decided to create one of the cheapest boss fights in fighting game history. This boss (The Skullgirl/Marie) launches every sort of projectile imaginable. The entire screen is constantly littered with projectiles, and like Peacock the boss has a bad reputation for trying to distance itself from you. This only adds salt to the already gaping wound (metaphorically speaking). If this wasn't bad enough though the boss is just as difficult in the easiest difficulty as she is in the harder difficulties. I have repeated the boss fight numerous times always dying right before I was about to win. That last damn bit of life seems to take forever to whittle away, and the final transformation of the boss is very difficult to hit for most of the characters. The only character that seems to be designed to really defeat this boss is 'Cerebella', because of her huge a** arms that are glued to her head.

Now that I've spoken my mind about these "issues" I will simmer down in the comfort that I have relayed this necessary info to my readers whom I care about. I'm not happy that I spent 1200 mps on the game by any means, but I'm glad someone will be able to learn from my mistake. At least you'll have a good idea of what you're getting into if you decide to buy the game. In closing, Autumn Games/Reverge Labs needs to issue some serious patches to 'Skullgirls' if they want it to succeed at all. Skullgirls had potential to be one of the greatest fighting games ever, but ultimately fell short due to poor programming, and development issues. Fighting game developers could learn a thing or two from this flawed title, and it would be a good thing if they did.