Valhalla Knights 3 (PS VITA)

XSEED has produced some damn good games in their time. I for one thoroughly enjoyed my playthrough of "Killer is Dead" earlier this year. Seeing as that game held my interest throughout it's entirety I expected great things from "Valhalla Knights 3". Jumping into a game series three games in often times does not help one to understand the plot well enough though, but after viewing the trailers I figured I'd give it a shot anyways. I remember finding the perverted touch screen mini-games shown in the trailers to be an interesting point, but what really held my attention was the fact that this was a JRPG with online modes of play. Whenever I see, or hear the word "online" in an RPG of any kind I get excited. After several rounds of email inquiries I finally got my hands on "Valhalla Knights 3", and after spending about a week's worth of time playing it I think I understand why the PR was reluctant to hand over a review code.

Valhalla Knights 3, as it were is a game that seems to have it's own unique, and standalone story. It's the type of JRPG that you can play without having any prior knowledge of the series. Everything from the character backgrounds, to the plot points are repeatedly laid out on the intermission/loading screens to remind you exactly what the hell is going on in the fantasy world of the game. As far as the story of the game goes it involves a treasure seeking emperor who has his sights set on the ultimate loot. He will do anything, and betray anyone to get his hands on W. Flockhart's wish granting relic. While the Emperor plays a huge role in the underlying plot, and latter portions of the game the main focus is initially on your created character, and a couple of fellow spies who each find themselves marked for death, and imprisoned in the local prison colony.

The game begins with a fairly awesome animated cutscene that looks nothing like the actual gameplay. You'll see anime inspired character art, special visual effects whizzing by, and even get to listen to a nice musical score as the intro plays out. After all the glitz, and glamor of the intro has faded though you come face to face with a title screen that looks as if it belongs to a PSP release. You heard me right, a PSP release! As if that disappointment weren't enough the next step in setting up the game for play will more than likely sink your hopes to the bottom of the abyss. Once the character creation menu comes into view, after you've gotten past the title screen via the START button you'll gaze upon one of the worst character renderings ever known in the PS Vita library of games. I kid you not.

At your disposal, in this poorly rendered menu of sorts you'll find a nicely detailed list of characteristics that can be tweaked to your liking. It is these details that will ultimately help you make the main character of the story. You'll find everything from different race options (Human, Elf, Halfling, Dwarf, Beasts ...), and different gender options to more detailed physical options (scars, skin color, eyes, make-up, hair color, eye color ...) that will help you to truly personalize your very own character. You'll even find the option to choose a class (Prisoner, Fighter, Mage, Priest ...) as well as a naming feature that will allow you to make your character your own. While all of these options are nice to have the poorly rendered characters shown to the side of the character creation option list will have you asking yourself, "Why the hell did I just spend my hard earned money on this pile of crap!?".

When you're through creating your character, and fine tuning them to the best of your ability you will be taken to a dialogue driven mess of an introduction in which your predicament is fully explained. It is at this point that you'll realize that this game was likely a PSP title to begin with, and that it wasn't recently created using the PS Vita software. As the story is laid out before you on the prison grounds through simple thought bubbles, and spastic character animations you'll discover that you, and your companions are a group of spies who were sent to a prison colony to find out information about W. Flochart's fabled treasure. To make sure you do your job, and do it right you, and your friends were each given a mark that will kill you unless you do the bidding of the one who sent you to the prison in the first place.

Being a prisoner in this game is not as bad as it seems though. In this particular prison you pretty much get to do as you please. Things like getting it on with the ladies, and beating the bejeezus out of bad guys is not out of the question. Like any RPG based around an underground marketplace you'll find that there are plenty of shopping outlets, persons of interest, and business establishments in place to keep your own clan up to par with it's many rivals. Among the many stores you'll find in the Light District is a guild establishment (Star Kiss) in which you can pay a selected lovely lady to gain access to other items, clan members, and opportunities/quests. For weapons, items, and equipment you need only to visit the Bennett shop located midway into the Light District. There's even a nurse's shop down the ways in which you can physically alter your characters' appearances later on should you feel the need, and should you have enough money for the procedure.

One thing that you'll find in common with everyone, and every place in this fantasy prison including the "Light District (the game's shopping district)", and the "Slums (low end shopping district)" is that you can win over the NPC (Non Playable Characters') characters' affection if you have a gift worthy of pleasing them. Gifts of course can be bought with walking points that are earned simply by traveling to different parts of the land on foot. Certain girls/guys in the Light District's/Slum's shops will often times make sexual advances towards your main character as well give you/them the chance to not only make it to third base via the "Sexy Time" mini-game, but also to fill up their heart meter, and win them over as a mate. It is this mini-game that will have you caressing the girls' curves with your finger via the PS Vita touchscreen in a perverted sort of way. It doesn't help that the girls of the game are mostly "fugly (f*cking ugly)", and that most of them look underage though. Should you make it all the way in the "Sexy Time" mini-game then you get to enjoy the lovely lady's company at the local Light District Inn.

As far as advancing the plot goes you'll find that you must talk to certain persons of interest in order to gain access to the next part of the story. While this is a must if you hope to play the game to it's conclusion you'll find that you can take on such tasks at your own pace. In fact I highly recommend spending some time out in the fields killing off low level critters, and foes until you feel comfortable enough to take on the more ominous bad guys/gals of the game. Like any RPG/JRPG you'll find that your characters' performance, endurance, and capabilities are all based on upgradeable stats. In this particular JRPG you'll be leveling up your characters' stats via skill points that are earned from killing off persons of interest, and other creatures that are wandering around aimlessly in a third person perspective within the games many different environments. Engaging in such combat situations is as simple as walking up to an unsuspecting enemy, and whacking the bejeezus out of them with your weapon of choice. This of course will result in one of two actions on the enemy's behalf. They'll either be so surprised by the attack (if you attack from behind / back attack) that they let you kill them without ever reacting (assuming you are quick enough), or they'll call in the rest of their clan to deal with you, and your party.

This brings me to the topic of in-game combat in "Valhalla Knights 3". In the game's start menu you'll find that you can setup a characters' slots. This basically means that you will be assigning items, actions (Defend, Attack), and special skills that will be made available via DPad button presses while on the game's various battlefields. Each character in your clan has two slot sections, and a passive skill section in which items (healing items, status items ...), and skills can be assigned. You'll find that by clicking on each slot section you can assign these things to a directional input that is associated with the PS Vita's DPad. The first slot selection can be accessed on the battlefield by simply pressing a direction on the DPad. If you wish to access items, or skills in the second slot section you'll need yo hold down the left shoulder button on the PS Vita, and press the appropriate DPad direction. The "Passive Skill" section on the other hand acts on it's own, and will require no button presses during battle.

While the DPad interactions are a must in keeping your clan alive, and status free the actual weapon attacks are dealt out via the press of the "X" button, and other adjacent buttons. To parry (which is your only real way of defending) you must press the "TRIANGLE" button at the appropriate time. In doing so you'll open up a window of opportunity in which your now staggered adversary is open for any attacks you wish to dish out. You can even perform a dash attack by pressing "CIRCLE", and immediately following up with a pressing of the "X" button. Be careful though as doing this sort of attack will leave your character vulnerable to the enemy's own attacks for a short while. As far as attacks go that's about as good as it gets. Depending on which character class you chose you'll find that your melee/projectile attacks will act/react according to the type of weapon that character class specializes in.

Another thing I need to mention is that you can switch between characters on the go. To do this simply press the "SELECT" button, and you'll take control of the next clan member. Aside from attacks, and character switching you'll also find that combat success relies heavily on your clans formation. To alter formation, or to place characters in certain positions you'll need to access the formation menu which is located within the "START" menu system. It is best that you position your support, and long range characters in the back, and your stronger melee based characters toward the front of your clan's formation. For those of you looking to further customize your clan you'll be glad to know that a clan naming option is available via the "START" menu as well (My clan's name is "Hoes Before Bros" ^.^)

By successfully playing through the game's many plot points, and battling it out with the opposition you will eventually be able to recruit more clan members making your clan a force to be reckoned with. This of course will take some time to do though as you'll have to spend a serious amount of time out in the field repeatedly killing off reappearing bad guys/gals, and looting them for their gold as well as gathering body parts from fallen critters to sell them for gold via the "Light District" so that you can afford to recruit more clan members, and buy the equipment/items that you need to survive. It's definitely a tedious task to get anywhere in this game, and having to pay for the ability to shop does not help the process any.

When it comes to online offerings you can take on other gamers' clans via the PS Vita Ad-Hoc feature, or through online searches. This, like anything else can be done within the confines of the prison colony establishment. You'll find a demonic female assistant waiting behind a desk in the prisons' initial area who is there for means to access the online portion of the game. While this option is made available almost immediately I highly suggest you playing through the game first. Spend some quality time leveling up your characters, equip them with the best weapons/equipment, and make sure they have the skills needed to take on some powerful clans. I was foolish enough to try it out early on, and didn't last but a few seconds.

Like the walking gift shop (can't remember it's name ^.^) in the "Light District" you'll find that you can earn special points by playing online against other gamers' clans, and winning against them. These attack points, or AP as they are known will allow you to gain some of the game's finer, and more rare items/weapons/equipment. Unlike the walking points though the AP (Attack Points) will be more difficult to earn, and the items that can be bought using them are significantly higher in price making them an even more special item to have.

Whether you play the game offline or online you'll find that there's tons of stuff to do within the confines of the prison, and it's surrounding areas. You can take on multiple tasks/quests whenever you choose, and can even spend time level grinding by repeatedly killing off the reappearing enemies of the game. The ultimate goal however comes in two forms that are a must if you wish to make the most of your experience. First, and foremost you must do the bidding of the game's higher ups in order to fulfill your role as a spy, and complete the many tasks that are required of you. In doing so you will reveal the final conclusion of the storyline, and finish the game. Secondly you must build a formidable clan so that you can take them online, and win the top spot on the game's leaderboards as Valhalla Knights 3's reigning champs. One thing you must weigh in before doing all of this though is whether, or not you feel that investing your hard earned cash, and time into this PSP-like title is actually worth it, or not. That of course is where my opinion comes into play ...

Now onto the verdict ...

Valhalla Knights 3 is a game that looks, and feels as if it were meant for the PSP handhelds that were released years ago. It was definitely surprising to me to witness such low end graphics after playing the Atelier series, and Dragon's Crown on the PS Vita earlier this year. I cannot for the life of me understand why XSEED would create a game in this manner. While the trailers definitely looked good when I first watched them, getting my hands on the actual game proved to be a seriously disappointing experience. Not only were the graphics poorly crafted, but the actual gameplay was plagued by poorly executed design as well. The targeting system, for example often times would not work when facing of against enemies in a battle situation. The characters' attacks were also slow, and a means of proper evasion was absent from the combat system. Even the camera angles can become quite bothersome at times.

When it comes to a quality gaming experience "Valhalla Knights 3" is definitely lacking in that department. Aside from the previously mentioned issues other bad points include the shopping system in which you have to pay to buy items. I still don't understand that. It makes for a very tedious experience having to pay to buy stuff. The fact that money making is a scarce opportunity early on in the game's plot only makes the experience more frustrating. You'll spend a lot of your time level grinding just so your clan can be leveled up enough to withstand a fight against some of the lower level enemies. I often times died at the hands of some of the simpler enemies of the game, because of this. Going up against stronger foes was a nightmare!

In all honesty this game is a 90% failure. The characters, and the plot points are not fleshed out well enough to enjoy. The creepy ass spastic animations included in the cutscenes also make for a proper slap in the face to anyone who took a chance in buying this game. These graphic issues combined with the poorly constructed combat mechanics only serves to bring the game's utter disappointment full circle. Anyone in their right mind would not recommend buying this game, and neither will I. I'm going to have to say "SKIP IT". It's not worth your time, or money. Trust me.