"Dante's Top Rules For Enjoying Online Gaming"

Everyone in their right mind knows that the current state of online gaming is a continuously growing cesspool filled with hackers, and cheaters. Kids these days think it's cool to troll the online population with their shenanigans, and cheat their way to the top of the online leaderboards. Since companies like MS, and Sony could give two shits about our enjoyment online the situation continues to worsen, and will likely worsen for the next generation of consoles as well. What is a guy, or gal to do about this BS? Well, I'm here to answer that question for you with a list of top rules to abide by when taking your gaming online. I hope that these helpful hints will steer you in the right direction, and help you to avoid the delinquent little assholes that aim to ruin your fun time.

1) Rule numero uno. First, and foremost take the time to observe the people who are playing in the online multiplayer lobbies with you. If something seems off, then it usually is. Things like trash talking, swearing, and trolling via the mic are huge signs pointing towards a lobby filled with hackers/cheaters. If at all possible leave the current lobby you are in to find a better lobby filled with trustworthy friends, family, or people who are playing honestly.

2) The second rule for online betterment is avoid any player with a suspicious username. If they have a trail of indecipherable numbers following their chosen username then they are more than likely a gang banging wannabe who wants to be known as a badass, or a hacker who's trying to make their presence less noticeable. Also stay away from anyone who names their username after a children's cartoon. As innocent as such a name may seem it's usually older players using the cartoon characters' names to inflict irreparable mental damage on the real little children who play online. STAY AWAY FROM BRONIES!!! It's best to stay away from players using names that incorporate various forms of fecal matter, sexual innuendo, racial slurs, or synonymous trolling titles as well. Nothing good will ever come out of playing with/against someone with such a username.

3) Thirdly, when looking for a proper opponent in a fighting game avoid at all costs a player who is using anime inspired usernames. This also goes for CoD, and other popular competitive online titles. While naming your username after a favorite anime character/series would seem like the Japanese thing to do to some Americans/Europeans, professional Japanese players usually don't pick anime inspired names. It's mostly American/European brats who think that anime is a cool way to show off their prowess online who use such a moniker.

4) Fourthly, Pay attention to the game's online leaderboards. If a player has a ridiculous k/d, or a ridiculous w/l ratio you can bet your bottom dollar that they probably did not get those kills, or wins fairly. In a fighting game scenario players who are on top by an exceptional amount usually lagswitch the game to a point that their victory is inevitable. In games like CoD lagswitching also plays a minor role in their top spot as does straight out console hacking. If you have a choice in the matter DO NOT confront these sorry sacks of sh*t online. Do not give them the satisfaction of being on top of the leaderboard.

5) Lastly, When all of the above fails it's time to get the hell out of Dodge, and find a new hobby. Perhaps some good old fashioned "Retro Gaming" is in order? I've considered doing so myself after witnessing all the BS I've seen online. Forget the next-gen, and the current-gen if all that the gaming companies are going to do is sit by on their lazy ass, and let the hackers/cheaters reign supreme. They don't deserve your hard earned money if they cannot keep the world of online gaming a secure, and fun place to return to.